


Silent Syllables

by Hyperionova



Series: Silent Syllables [1]
Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Best Friends, Childhood Friends, First Time, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, High School, M/M, Nine Year Old Sekai, Romance, Sehun with glasses, Social Anxiety, selective mutism, twoshots
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-01-27
Updated: 2019-01-27
Packaged: 2019-10-17 08:04:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 12,836
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17556491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyperionova/pseuds/Hyperionova
Summary: It all started when Kai took a lot more interest than he should in the quiet, quirky boy at the back of the class and some jellybeans.





	1. Chapter 1

“You guys can come over to play videogames today after school?” said Max as they wended their way to the classroom.

“Sure! That’ll be awesome!” Kai exclaimed but then frowned, his grin faltering when he realized he had other plans this afternoon. “Oh, wait. I can’t actually.”

“Why not?” asked Louis, adjusting his spectacles.

Kai groaned. “My mom wants us to go and welcome our new neighbours.”

He gripped the strap of his schoolbag, gnashing his teeth annoyedly. He did not want to welcome their new neighbours to the neighbourhood. In fact, he did not want to pretend like he cared about them moving to a new neighbourhood. And neither did he understand why his parents always made it a habit to get to know everyone in the neighbourhood just so that they could hold unnecessary Sunday brunches and dinners to ‘get to know them better’. And not to mention his mother’s Church friends. They were the most insufferable. Kai did not like wearing his ‘nicest clothes’ to entertain them. He did not like smiling so forcedly until his mouth hurt around people he barely knew and wanted to know. And most of the time, he did not feel like he was included in any of the adults’ conversations. Sometimes, they had kids, too. But only rarely were they close to his age and even then, he did not like talking to them.

“New neighbours?” inquired Max.

“Yeah,” sighed Kai with a shrug. “They moved in two days ago.”

“Maybe you can come and join us after that, then,” suggested Louis.

“Maybe,” muttered Kai as they entered the classroom.

Mrs. Passwater was already at her desk, flipping through the textbook. She was one of the nicest teachers in the school, Kai thought. She always brought her students brownies and sometimes lets them watch a movie in English class.

“Good morning, Mrs. Passwater,” he greeted his teacher as he walked past her desk.

Mrs. Passwater looked up from her books and gave Kai a pleasant smile. “Good morning, Kai,” she said.

Louis and Max also bade the teacher a good morning before they ambled toward their desks. A few of their classmates hallooed at them. Some girls giggled. Kai would never understand what the girls were giggling for, but they always had something to giggle about. He did not care. He never cared about the girls or whatever that kept them amused all the time.

“Hey, Kai,” Lily cooed when he crossed her desk. Kai stopped to grin at her. She tucked her blonde hair behind her ear and smiled coyly before turning back to her friends.

Kai wondered what that was all about. Again, he knew about half of what kept the opposite gender amused. Like dolls, clothes, the colour pink, handsome actors or whatever. He could never relate.

“Kai,” Max hissed from behind. “Looks like someone likes you.”

Kai blinked at his friend. “What? Who? Who?”

Max gave his shoulder a shove. “Lily,” he said in a sharp whisper.

Louis’ eyes widened behind his glasses while Kai’s narrowed into a grimace. “Yeah, I like her, too. So?”

They plumped into the seats of their desks. “Not just _like_ , Kai,” Max whispered. “I think she has a crush on you.”

Kai almost choked on his spit as he hastily glanced over to Lily, who was still giggling with her friends. She briefly glimpsed him and smirked, tucking her hair behind her ear again.

Kai turned to scowl at his friend. “No, she doesn’t!”

“Do you even know what a crush is?” Louis asked.

Kai took offence. “Of course, I do!” he yapped. He knew enough, at least. Or that was what he thought.

“She’s in love with you,” Max teased in hushed tones.

“We’re nine years old! That’s gross. Stop it,” Kai growled at him, winding a fist to threaten Max with a punch.

“My momma said we can have crushes at any age,” said Louis as he took a bite of his sandwich. “And that it’s cute.”

“No, it isn’t,” Kai said. “She doesn’t have a crush on me. Now, shut up or I’ll hit you.”

Max and Louis said nothing more, but they continued to chuckle. Kai was suddenly glad for the school bell that rang. He seated himself comfortable in his chair and turned around to fish his notebook out of his bag.

That was when his eyes landed on the boy at the desk in the back corner of the classroom. Kai had almost forgotten that the boy had joined the school yesterday. No one really knew where he was from. No one knew anything about him, except that his name was Oh Sehun. When Mrs. Passwater had introduced him to the class a new student yesterday morning, the boy had always said nothing and had kept his head low at all times, refusing to meet anybody’s eyes. He had spent the rest of the day at school with his head low in the corner of the classroom, talking to no one.

He was back at the desk today, clad in a pair of brown shorts that exposed his pink knees, a plain green shirt, and a pair of sneakers. He was as pale as a ghost, save his, sometimes, rosy cheekbones, nose, and lips, which are constantly gnawed at, as if he were nervous. His head was full of a shock of unkempt, dark mass of hair. Kai had never seen such a strange creature. He supposed the he’d be nervous too if he were to go to a new school. But there was something else about the boy.

He was scribbling something on his notebook with a pencil, a lip curled between his teeth in concentration.

“What a weirdo,” Kai heard Max say when the latter caught him staring at the new boy. “Right?”

Kai frowned. “What do you mean?”

Max shrugged. “I don’t know. He just seems weird.”

Max was right. The boy was weird.

“Good morning, students,” Mrs. Passwater called out, and Kai averted his attention from the new kid to the teacher. “First thing today, I would like you to hand me your homework.”

Once she had collected all of their notebooks, she instructed them to open their textbooks. As usual, she made a few students read a few passages out loud. Some of them still stuttered, struggling to read fluently. Kai never had any trouble reading out loud. He could spell more than hundred words without rechecking now, and he was proud of it.

“Sehun, why don’t you read the next paragraph?” Mrs. Passwater said with a smile, looking to the milky-skinned boy at the back of the class.

Everyone turned their heads to the new kid, who was gawking at the teacher with eyes almost bulging out. For several seconds, he made no movements, as though he were surrounded by feral predators that were about to pounce on him at any moment now. Kai did not take his eyes off the peculiar boy either.

“Come on now,” said Mrs. Passwater kindly. “Stand up and start reading the next paragraph, Sehun.”

“Do you think he’s deaf?” Louis asked Kai in a low whisper.

The new boy’s chest was starting to heave as his breathing quickened, his eyes roving the class, looking fretfully at the other students.

“Sehun?” called Mrs. Passwater.

The boy swallowed and picked up the textbook before he rose from his chair and stood up. Keeping his eyes on the book, he then parted his lips. He took a breath, but no other sound came out of his mouth.

The teacher and everyone else waited. Kai was growing impatient. If he had been Mrs. Passwater, he would have yelled at the boy already.

Then the boy looked up at the rest of the class with glassy eyes as tears welled up in them. He sniffled before those tears rolled down his reddened cheeks. He looked… _scared_.

Kai’s jaw fell slack as he gaped at the boy. Everyone was. They could not believe what they were witnessing. It was nothing like they had ever encountered before. There were students who weren’t confident enough to speak in class, but no one had never cried just because they were told to read a passage out loud.

“Oh, dear,” Mrs. Passwater rasped. “It’s all right, Sehun.” She rushed to the boy’s side and stroked his back comfortingly. “Sit down. Thank you.”

The boy wiped his cheeks as he sank back in his chair, keeping his head hung low, shrinking himself smaller than he already was.

“What was… that?” Max let out in shock while the other kids began to chatter and whisper in similar reaction.

“Did he just… cry?” said Kai in disbelief.

“Such a baby,” scoffed another one of their classmates, Gideon. Kai did not like being friends with Gideon or his rowdy group of buddies. They were always rude to teachers and got into a lot of fights in the cafeteria during lunchbreaks. Kai’s mother told him to stay away from such naughty kids.

“Shush!” Mrs. Passwater silenced the class again. “Indira, read the next paragraph, please.”

Kai keeked at the boy again to see if he were still crying. He wasn’t. But he was now wiping his eyes dry on the back of his hands. He took notes when Mrs. Passwater instructed them to. Otherwise, he kept his attention on the textbook and did not lift his head even once.

Gideon was right. The boy was being such a baby. They were nine years old. What was he so shy about?

During lunchbreak, after the bell had rung, Kai picked up his things and glanced over at Sehun again. The boy did not get up from his desk. Was he planning on eating alone in the classroom?

“Kai, are you coming?” called Louis.

Kai licked his lips and walked over to his friends. “Do you think we should talk to him?” he said.

Max and Louis looked over Kai’s shoulders and frowned at the boy. “Him?” said Max. “I don’t want to talk to him. Let’s get going before they run out of pudding cups!”

Louis pulled a face too as he hurried after Max. Exhaling heavily, Kai followed his friends out of the classroom. Pausing in the doorway though, he peeped at the new kid, who looked around the empty classroom once and then pulled out a wrapped, crustless sandwich from his schoolbag. He placed the sandwich on his desk and looked at it for a few moments before unwrapping it carefully, using only some of his fingers that looked so delicate, knuckles as pink as his knees. He picked up a sandwich with both hands and took a small, shy bite. The way his tiny lips wrapped around the bread had Kai staring at him for a minute longer. Then the boy munched slowly. When he went in for another bite, his gaze lifted to Kai. He froze with the sandwich between his small lips, shocked eyes boring into Kai’s.

Kai quickly stormed out of the classroom with his heart pounding in his throat. That was… embarrassing.

* * *

When school ended that day, Kai waved his friends goodbye and grabbed his bike before walking it toward the local candy shop near his house. He was in the mood for some salted caramel chocolates, and he wanted to get them before heading back home.

Parking his bike outside the shop, he walked in and wandered straight to the chocolates’ aisle. There was not a wide selection for salted caramel chocolates, but there were a few. While he decided on which ones to pick up, he heard the doorbell chime.

“Come in, kid,” he heard Patty welcome the new customer. She was always nice to her customers, and especially Kai. Patty had just graduated from high school and she had a biker boyfriend, whom Kai did not particularly like.

Grabbing a bar of chocolate from the shelves, he peered over to look at who had come in. He lost the grip on the chocolate and dropped it to the ground before he clumsily picked it back up when he spotted those familiar pink knees.

He hid behind the shelves and watched the small boy that had cried in the class today stand before the jellybean containers. Sehun stared up at the wide varieties of jellybeans, holding his hands close to his chest. His schoolbag that was clinging to his shoulders were almost bigger than he was. His nose was red like he had been crying. But Kai knew he could not have been because his eyes were hungrily attentive as they raked over the jellybeans. He brought a thumb to his mouth and started biting on his fingernail with an indecisive look on his face.

What could be so confusing about jellybeans, for God’s sake, Kai wondered. And why on earth was he so interested in the boy’s bizarre quirks?!

Once he had finally decided the colours of jellybeans he wanted, the boy picked up a bag and started filling it with red, green, and yellow jellybeans. He did not get a lot of them. Just a handful. He then walked up to the counter. Sucking in a breath, Kai started for the counter, too.

“Hello there,” Patty said to Sehun. The boy did not reply as he kept his head low. “I have never seen you around here before.”

The boy still said nothing. He lifted his head, however, when Kai walked up to his side. He quickly looked away.

“Same old chocolates, Kai?” said Patty when he handed her a single bill. “I hope Mr. and Mrs. Kim about your little visits here for your fill of chocolates.”

“My dentist does and he’s okay with it,” Kai said. Patty chuckled and gave him his change back before she turned to Sehun.

“That’ll be two dollars,” she told the boy.

He was jittery as he pulled out some coins from the pocket of his small shorts. He had a lot of coins. Kai was sure the boy must have saved all of his allowance to buy some candy. Patty quickly calculated them when he placed them on the counter without counting. He waited patiently, eyes often peeking at Kai.

“Well, see you later, Patty,” Kai told the brunette before he sauntered out of the shop. He then started toward home, one hand walking his bike while the other held onto the chocolate he had unwrapped.

He hummed a song, eating the chocolate that was rapidly softening under the afternoon sun. Halfway home, he noted the sound of footsteps that had been following him for a while now. He halted in his tracks and turned his head halfway around to look at whoever that had been trudging behind him.

Much to his surprise and dismay, it was that quiet boy. He was counting the jellybeans in his hands as he walked after Kai.

Kai’s blood coursed angrily in his veins, but he did nothing and turned around to walk away. He chomped on his chocolate and glanced back a few times. The boy was still following him, keeping his attention down on the jellybeans.

_Weirdo…_

_Why is he following me,_ Kai pondered furiously. He took a turn at a junction and watched the boy take the same turn. Kai had half the mind to jump on his bike and ride away as fast as he could, but he had the other half to slap the strange boy, who did not care that he was getting sunburned and was too engrossed in counting his jellybeans. His cheeks were turning into a deep shade of pink.

Kai stopped, stood his bike, swallowed the last of his chocolate, and marched over to the boy. He slapped the boy’s hands first, sending the jellybeans flying. Sehun shuddered in surprise, coming to a standstill with a jerk as he looked up at Kai while the jellybeans scattered all over the sidewalk. His empty hands were suspended in the air like they were still holding the candies.

“What do you want?” Kai snarled at the boy. “Why are you following me?!”

Sehun only stared at him for a long moment. Like he was faced with a ghost.

“I will punch you!” Kai threatened him, lifting a fist to threaten the boy. Sehun flinched but did not back away. “I’m going to punch you so hard if you keep following me!” His father had taught him how to throw a punch in case someone messed with him. But he was never allowed to punch girls, old people and innocents. Kai had never punched anybody, though.

The boy opened his mouth then. “I… I was… not… f-following you,” he said in a quiet tone.

Kai was taken aback to hear the boy’s small voice for the first time. His fist loosened and dropped to his side again as he blinked at the boy blankly. The boy did not look nervous or scared now. Not like how he had broken down in class today.

But he did look sad when he glanced at the jellybeans strewn all around him. He pulled away from Kai to crouch to the ground and pick up the jellybeans one by one.

Kai could not decide if he were stunned or appalled. “They’re… dirty. You’re not going to eat them, are you?” he said.

Sehun did not answer as he quietly gathered every last one of the jellybeans. Kai huffed exasperatedly and walked back to his bike, stealing a few more glimpses of the boy squatting here and there to pick up his jellybeans.

As Kai started for his home again, something was pricking his heart. He wanted to go back to his new classmate and help him collect the jellybeans. He did not, however.

When he reached home, he parked his bike in the garage before he climbed up the porch steps. He shooed the ginger stray cat that was always roaming around the neighbourhood while looking for his house key in his backpack.

Just as his hand reached for the key, his gaze shifted to Sehun, who was trotting toward the house two blocks away from Kai’s. When the stray cat galloped over to him, the boy bent down to pet it before he took a red jellybean from his hand and placed on the pavement, as though he were presenting the cat with a holy offering.

Kai’s heart dropped when the boy skipped into the house where his new neighbours had just moved in.

* * *

“You cleaned up nice without me telling you to do it a thousand times today,” remarked his mother when Kai hurried down the stairs in his best shirt and trousers, hair neatly combed. He had even shampooed his hair without his mother nagging him to do so.

Ignoring her, he lounged on the couch and turned the TV on.

“Kai, put your feet down,” chided his father when the man sauntered into the living room, buttoning the cuffs of his shirt. Groaning, Kai dropped his feet from the couch. “Now, I don’t want to see an attitude when we go over there today. Am I understood?”

“Yes, Dad,” Kai mumbled. He looked at his mother, who was grabbing the cherry pie she had made for the neighbours. “Can I go to Max’s when we get back?” he asked his parents.

“No,” said his father sternly. “It’s already late.”

“But, Dad,” he whined.

“No means no, Kai.”

He huffed and crossed his arms over his chest, pouting.

“But your basketball goal post got delivered today,” said his father. “You can invite your friends over to play tomorrow.”

Kai perked up again. “Really?!” He did not what was it about basketball that made him love the sport. But when he grew up, he wanted to become a professional basketball player.

“And I saw the new neighbour has a son. Must be around your age. Invite him over, too.”

“I know him,” Kai spat. “He’s in my class.”

His father blinked. “Oh, you’ve met?”

“Kind… of,” Kai muttered. “He’s very quiet… and weird.”

“Kai,” his mother yapped at him from the kitchen. “You do not judge people like that. Okay?”

Kai rolled his eyes. He called a spade a spade. What was so wrong about that?

Once his mother had made sure that they were all looking their best, they started for Sehun’s house. Kai did not know what he would even say to the boy when he saw him. But he consciously straightened his shirt for the nth time and made sure not a strand was out of place in his hair as they walked down the street.

His father rang the doorbell because he was the man of the house. One day, Kai would be man of the house. His own house. Maybe with his own wife and kids. But definitely with ten sportscars, a basketball court, three trampolines, and five English Mastiffs.

A man pried the door open and looked surprised when he found the family on his doorstep.

“Hi,” said Kai’s father. “We’re the Kims. We live a couple of blocks up.”

“We just wanted to welcome you and your family to our neighbourhood,” said his mother.

“Oh,” let out the other man. “Come on in. I was not expecting anyone, and we haven’t quite moved in yet. So, pardon the mess.”

“It’s all right,” chuckled Kai’s mom. “We understand. We brought you a pie, though.”

“So, that’s what the glorious smell is,” said the man, taking the pie away from her hands before they introduced each other. “And who might this young man be?”

Kai introduced himself. He did not need his parents doing it for him. He was a big boy. “I’m Kai,” he said.

“Well, nice to meet you, Kai,” said the man. “I would offer you all something to drink, but I haven’t quite unpacked the teas and coffees.”

“We’ll take water,” said Kai’s father.

The house had boxes lying about everywhere.

“Please, sit down.”

Kai took an ungraceful seat on one of the couches.

“Sehun,” the man then called loudly. “Come down here!”

“How do you like the neighbourhood?” asked Kai’s dad.

“It’s peaceful, I think. We lived in a city before moving here. This is a nice change.” He smiled. The small boy quietly made an appearance, and Kai’s heart skipped a beat. It was the most annoying feeling ever.

Sehun stood behind his father, grabbing hold of the man’s shirt at his side with a hand, only taking a peek at the guests.

“This is my son, Sehun,” the man said as he ruffled the boy’s hair at the back of his head. “Sehun, these are our new neighbours.”

Sehun studied them all briefly before he paused at Kai to stare at him. He then turned around and hurried down the hall.

“He’s a shy one,” commented Kai’s mother.

“You have no idea,” chortled Sehun’s father. “He suffers from selective mutism. So, you’ll have to excuse his extreme shyness.”

“Oh, dear,” she gasped. “Is it that bad?”

“It’s really bad. But he’s getting help. He hasn’t spoken since he was six… when his mother died.”

Kai’s parents exchanged a pitiful glance while Kai felt an onslaught of guilt for slapping those jellybeans out of that motherless kid’s hands and threatening to punch him earlier.

“We’re really sorry,” said Kai’s dad. Kai dropped his head, hating himself for what he had done.

“He doesn’t… talk to anyone?” asked his mom.

“No,” said Sehun’s father. “Except me. He talks to me sometimes but apart from that, no one else.”

 _He talked to me_ , thought Kai. The boy had talked to him earlier! But everything made more sense now.

“Poor thing,” his mother muttered under her breath, looking miserable. If she knew what Kai had done to that ‘poor thing’, he was sure to get a beating.

Sehun did not show himself after that. That night, when Kai went to bed, he lost some sleep over how he should invite the boy over to play with him and his friends tomorrow.

* * *

He was fascinated by jellybeans. He did not eat them, but he liked counting them, Kai noticed the next day at school.

Sehun was at his desk, minding his own business in the morning when Gideon and his rowdies stomped over to him.

“Hey, you little cry-baby,” spat Gideon, slamming his fist on the desk.

Kai straightened up in his chair while Max continued to tell him stories about how he had killed a rat last night.

Sehun looked up at Gideon and then at the others that were sneering down at him.

“What do you got there?” asked Gideon. “Ooh, candy!” He snatched one from Sehun’s desk and popped it into his mouth. “Hmmmm. Watermelon.”

Sehun looked angry, but he looked even more scared.

“What are you looking at?” the bigger boy said. “You’re mad that I took your candy? Well, what are you going to do now?” He took the jellybeans away from Sehun’s hands. Sehun was panting now. He looked like he wanted to scream, but he did not utter a word.

“He’s gonna cry,” said one of Gideon’s friends. “Cry-baby.”

“Ooh, you’re gonna cry?” Gideon mocked. “Cry. _Weh-weh!_ ”

“Cut it out.” Before Kai even knew it, he was yelling at Gideon and jolting up from his seat, walking over to Sehun’s table. “Give him his candy back, Gideon.”

Gideon gaped at Kai. Gideon was plump, but he was a lot shorter than Kai was. “What?”

“I will punch you,” said Kai. “And I also have a policeman dad who can put you in jail! Give him his candy back.”

Gideon looked like he was about to wrestle Kai to the ground. But as the school bell rang, he gritted his teeth and dropped the jellybeans back onto Sehun’s desk before he returned to his seat as Mrs. Passwater walked into the classroom.

Sehun did not turn a hair as he stared at Kai.

 _I should say sorry,_ Kai mused to himself. But he could not bring himself to say the word. Instead, he prodded a jellybean that was close to the edge of the desk toward Sehun with a finger before he went back to his seat.

At lunchbreak that day, Kai told his friends to go to the cafeteria on their own while he stayed back in the classroom. Sehun pulled out a sandwich but waited for Kai to leave before he would eat it.

Sighing, Kai pulled a chair to Sehun’s desk and sank in it. Sehun’s eyes widened.

“My name is Kai,” he said. Sehun said nothing, but he kept on staring at Kai. “I brought mac-and-cheese. Do you want to share?”

Still nothing.

“I know you can talk,” he then told the boy. “You talked to me yesterday.”

Sehun lowered his head.

“Can we be friends?” Kai tried asking. Did he even want to be friends with Sehun? He did not really know. He did not have weird friends. But Sehun was… something. He was different. Peculiar, but Kai wanted to protect him for some odd reason.

Sehun’s cheeks pinked when he looked up at Kai again. He smiled and warily nodded his head a couple of times.

“Okay, then. We’re friends.” Kai ate lunch with Sehun that noon. And even though they talked about absolutely nothing, he enjoyed spending that time with the boy.

When Sehun spoke to him again, it was on their way home when Kai accompanied him. In a shy voice, he said, “Thank… you.”

Kai was caught unawares once again. “For?”

Sehun shrugged.

“Oh. Gideon. Yeah… You’re welcome,” Kai muttered.

* * *

“Where are you off to so early on a Sunday morning?” his father inquired when Sehun leaped down the stairs. Adjusting his spectacles, he turned to his father with a faint smile.

“Kai’s,” he said.

“Ah, should’ve known,” said his father, smirking. Sehun did not know what the intent behind that smirk was. But he did not stick around to find out as he hurried out of the house and started jogging towards Kai’s house.

Kai’s bike was standing in the driveway and so was Mrs. Kim’s car. Mr. Kim must be off at work. It must suck to work on a Sunday, though.

He rang the doorbell and waited until Mrs. Kim got the door. “Oh, good morning, Sehun,” she said with that polite smile she always wore around Sehun.

“Good morning, Mrs. Kim.” It had taken him years before he had mustered the courage to speak to her and her husband. But even then, his heart would give him some palpitations every time he had to make conversations with them when Kai was not around.

But they had both always been wonderful to Sehun, always making sure that they made things comfortable for him. Mrs. Kim, in particular, doted heavily on Sehun for not having a mother of his own. Which was a really nice gesture.

“I would invite you in, but I know you’re here for Kai. He’s practising in the backyard,” she said. “But do fetch him and come inside for breakfast, will you?”

Sehun nodded and beamed before he turned around and meandered his way to the back of the house, where he found Kai dribbling, racing across the backyard basketball court before he shot the ball through the hoop. Catching the ball again, he dribbled to the other side of the court, clad in only a pair of sweatpants.

Sehun froze in his tracks, eyes chasing after the rivulets of sweat that dripped from Kai’s chin and trickled down his shirtless toned body. While Sehun’s skin was as pale as ivory, Kai’s was in the shade of a beautiful tan that often left Sehun aghast.

He did not know when it had happened. At some point when they were fifteen, Kai, who was all skin and bones before, had started to develop into this… _this._ Perhaps that was when Sehun realized for the first time that his best friend was one of the most attractive boys he had ever laid his eyes upon, and the rest of the school agreed.

Now, at the age of eighteen, Kai was all sinewy and… and… well, Sehun did not think it was appropriate for him to describe his friend that way.

He watched Kai play. He loved watching Kai play. The grace that Kai exuded, the passion that he emanated whenever he was in the basketball court were nonpareil. This was his zone. And he bloomed most beautifully in his zone.

Kai eventually noticed Sehun’s presence and looked at him with a toothy grin. “Hey there, stranger,” he said. Sehun smiled, folding his arms over his chest while Kai tossed the ball in his hands, striding towards Sehun. “Do you often ogle sweaty, shirtless boys like that?”

Sehun’s smile died at once, and his throat tightened.

“Relax,” Kai chuckled. “I’m kidding.”

Sehun sighed. “You’ve got a good form there, Captain,” he remarked. “Looks like your team’s going to win the championship this year, too.”

“It’s a team sport. I can’t win on my own, unfortunately,” Kai said, tossing the ball over to Sehun.

Catching it, Sehun said, “You sound like you have no faith in your team.”

“We have a few noobs in the team this year since the seniors graduated.” He wiped the sweat from his face. “I told you to join, but you didn’t want to.”

“I would have been one of those noobs.”

“But you would have had a good teacher,” Kai said, simpering. “Me.”

“I still think I need to have at least some hand-eye coordination to be able to play.”

“Well.” Kai seized Sehun’s arm and yanked him forward, positioning him before the hoop. “Let’s see about that, shall we?”

He placed his hands on Sehun’s hips. Sehun, paralyzed, felt his heartbeat quicken. “What are you… doing?”

“Aligning your hips right so that you’re standing parallel to the goal,” said Kai from where he stood behind Sehun, which was really, really close. “Now, hold the ball on your right hand. Like balance it in your dominant hand.”

Sehun swallowed hard. Kai’s sweaty chest was pressed against his back when Kai slid his hands down Sehun’s arms before lifting them along with the ball. Sehun thought that his heart might jump out of him at any moment.

“Elbows should straighten out when you shoot,” said Kai. Sehun’s breathing shallowed exponentially when Kai laid a gentle hand on a side of his waist, as though to rest it there. His laboured breaths were grazing the back of Sehun’s neck. “Shoot.”

Sehun lobbed the ball toward the hoop, his head swimming with the thought of Kai’s shirtless body pressed against his. He missed. Of course, he missed.

“Hm. You’re right,” Kai muttered, and a shudder ran down Sehun’s spine. “You have absolutely no hand-eye coordination.”

Kai pulled away from him to pick up the ball. Sehun rubbed the back of his neck, trying to keep his eyes from wandering down Kai’s chest and abs that were glistening with sweat.

“You will come to the game this Saturday, right?” Kai asked, and Sehun regretted looking up at him because his gaze quickly darted to the trail of hair below Kai’s navel, which disappeared past the waistband of his sweatpants that had sagged beneath the deep waistlines. Sehun’s mouth turned dry, and he turned his face away before Kai could catch it crimsoning.

“To the… game?” Sehun murmured.

Kai frowned. “Yes, Sehun. To the game.”

He shook his head.

Kai huffed disappointedly. “Come on, Sehun. You gotta come. It’s the last game going to play. I can’t believe you’ve never been to any of my games.”

Sehun was also upset about never showing up to any of the basketball matches Kai had played in since they were middle school. “You know why, Kai.”

“I know,” Kai sighed. He caught Sehun’s arm when Sehun refused to look at him. Sehun met his gaze now. “And that’s why I never ask you to come and watch me play. I know you’re not comfortable. But… can’t you try? Just this… once?”

Sehun did not like making promises he could not keep. He especially did not like breaking his promises to Kai. He never had. “Kai,” he let out with a deep-seated frown on his brows.

Kai released his arm. “Fine,” he said. He did not sound mad, but the disappointment was palpable in his tone. “Don’t come. It’s probably the most important game of my life. And I just… wanted you there. But it’s okay if you don’t want to.”

Sehun knew how much it meant to Kai for him to be there. But he did not want to be around a crowd that he did not feel safe with. Most people would call his anxiety irrational. But to him, the fear of people judging him when he even opened his mouth to utter a word suffocated him every time he stepped outside the house. It was a feeling that he had grown up with and never really left.

“Your mom asked us to come inside for breakfast,” he muttered, hanging his head. He was now worried that Kai was upset with him. And he knew he was going to lose tonight’s sleep over it. He did not have the courage to ask Kai if he were really upset, but he also did not have the confidence to believe that Kai being upset was not the end of the world.

They wandered inside, however. Kai pulled on a sweatshirt before he took a seat at the kitchen island and started digging into a stack of pancakes after bathing them in maple syrup and whipped cream.

The rest of Sehun’s day was glum. When he went home, he tried to finish his assignments but was completely distracted by his knotted, churning stomach that was dreading over Kai not liking him at the moment.

Realizing that he would not get any sleep if he did not explain himself to Kai once more, he snuck out of the house later that evening and walked toward Kai’s house with his heart hammering against his chest.

When he rang the doorbell, Mr. Kim opened the door with an exhausted look. “Sehun, come in. Kai’s upstairs.”

“Thank you, Mr. Kim,” Sehun muttered and climbed upstairs at once, sticking his hands in the pockets of his hoodie. When he reached Kai’s room, he hesitated to knock on the door.

Drawing a few deep breaths, he raised his fist and rapped it on the door. “Yeah?!” Kai called from the other side of the door.

Sehun let himself in before shutting the door behind him. Kai was sitting at his desk and was on the computer, pretending to study.

“Oh, good. It’s just you,” he snorted and switched back to the tab he was watching a videogame stream on. “Lock the door.”

Sehun did as he was told. Kai did not sound or look like he was angry. It was all probably in Sehun’s head, like everything usually was.

He walked over to Kai’s bed and took a shy seat on the edge of it. Kai’s attention was all on the stream. Sehun licked his lips and braved himself to speak up. “Kai?” he called in a soft voice.

“Hm?” Kai did not look away from his computer screen.

Sehun did not have many friends. And he was sure those he called friends did not really take him for a friend. Because he was always too nervous to hang out with them. Kai was his only and best friend. Kai had done so much for him. So much. If it weren’t for him, Sehun never would have found the courage to speak again to anyone but his father. Maybe Sehun could do one thing for him this time. Maybe it would not kill him.

“Oh,” Kai gasped before Sehun could say anything more. “I got you something. First drawer.” He jerked his chin toward the bedside table.

Sehun pulled the drawer open and found a bag of jellybeans. “For… me?”

“Yeah.”

Sehun smiled at the jellybeans. He liked them. Not to eat them. But he liked how they resembled the magic beans in his favourite storybook, _Jack and the Beanstalks._ Over the years, Kai had gotten him jellybeans countless times. He had never once judged Sehun for having such a weird fixation.

He looked up at the boy and said, “I’ll go to your game.”

Kai tore his gaze from the computer at once and gaped at Sehun. “Are you serious?”

Sehun nodded his head charily. “Yes.”

Kai was grinning now. He rose from the desk and joined Sehun on the bed. “What… changed your mind?”

Sehun shrugged his shoulders, fidgeting with the jellybeans.

Heaving a sigh, Kai fell back on the bed and draped an arm over his forehead. “I’m happy,” he then said. And that alone made Sehun’s belly warm. “I’m gonna play the best game of the season.”

“Because… I’ll be there?”

“Yes! I want to make it worth your while.”

Sehun exhaled shakily. He could not possibly put it into words how good it felt whenever Kai said this kind of things just to make Sehun happy.

“Give me a jellybean,” Kai said.

Sehun picked out a yellow jellybean before popping it into Kai’s mouth. He then reclined on the bed to lie next to the boy that made all the difference in his otherwise quiet yet discordant life.

The room smelled like Kai and so did the sheets on his bed. The musky, oceanic scent that always made Sehun feel safe and comfortable.

“I know I never asked this before,” muttered Kai, looking at the ceiling, tucking an arm under his head. “But why… you know, the jellybeans?”

Sehun chewed on his lower lip for a moment and shoved his glasses up the bridge of his nose. “You never asked before.”

“I know,” Kai said. “But I was wondering yesterday when I was getting those jellybeans. I never asked you because… I thought you’d just tell me when you wanted to. Just like how I always thought you’d show up to my games without me asking you. But maybe… sometimes, I need to ask you.”

Maybe he did. And there was something Sehun wanted Kai to ask him so bad because otherwise, he would never find the courage to ask it himself. And the sad part was that he knew Kai would never. Whatever Sehun felt for Kai would never be reciprocated. And that was okay. Sehun did not ask for too much.

“It is stupid,” Sehun murmured.

Kai turned his head and looked at him. “No, tell me.”

Letting out a big breath, Sehun said, “My mother… used to read to me every night. And our favourite story was… _Jack and the Beanstalk._ ” He glanced at Kai to see if there were any reaction. There wasn’t, so he continued. “I found it very… fascinating that those beans turned into this gigantic beanstalk that led Jack to the skies. In the book, the beans were yellow, green, and red. They looked a lot like these jellybeans. Now, I know they’re not magic beans. But when I was younger, I always had this crazy idea that maybe one day, I’d plant those beans and maybe they’d take me to the skies. Then I could… maybe see my mother up there because my dad and everyone used to tell me that she was up there now, looking down at me.” He smiled to himself and scoffed out a chuckle. “Stupid, right?”

He looked at Kai again. The boy was staring at him, unblinking, and with a blank expression. Sehun’s smile fell off his lips in trepidation. Had he somehow offended Kai?

His lips parted to ask Kai if he were okay, and that was when Kai lifted his head from his arm and brought a hand to gently cup a side of Sehun’s face. Leaning in, his lips pressed against Sehun’s, stealing every last silver of his breath away.

Sehun’s body was thrown into a powerless shutdown when it dawned on him that Kai was… kissing him.

Kai was kissing him.

Their lips were pressed together. Neither of them breathed. The world around them simply slipped away and all that Sehun could focus on was the heat of the softness that was covered his mouth.

When Kai withdrew softly, his eyes bored into Sehun’s for a brief moment while Sehun lips still felt the heat of Kai’s lips upon his. He closed his eyes when Kai leaned in once more.

“Shit,” Kai then hissed under his breath and sat up with a jolt.

When Sehun could finally move and breathe again, he perched himself up on the edge of the bed again and adjusted his glasses. A sob was crawling its way up his throat. He did not know if he wanted to die from happiness or from mortification. His heart was thundering so loud that he thought Kai would be able to hear it.

Kai scrubbed his face with a bare palm before covering the bottom half of his face in it. They could neither look nor talk to each other for minutes as the air grew tenser by the second between them.

Sehun brought his fingertips to his lips and brushed them, still breathing hard. He was just… kissed.

By the boy he liked.

And it was unexpected and unforeseen. So unforeseen that Sehun’s head swooned at what had just happened. Why would Kai kiss him? It was… Kai.

The boy he liked.

Kai eventually looked at him with an undecipherable expression. Sehun must have looked at him with the same expression because Kai asked, “What are you… thinking about?”

Sehun did not know. But he wanted to know what _Kai_ was thinking about when his fingers were gripping Sehun’s face while he decided to steal Sehun’s first kiss, just like that. Not that Sehun wanted anyone other than Kai to have his first kiss, anyway.

“Shit,” Kai snapped again and jolted up from the bed. He started walking around the room, almost pacing a hole into the floor. “Forgot that I did that. Sehun… I don’t know why… I…”

Sehun rose from the bed and stood quietly, dropping his head. _Forget it_? How could he possibly…

Oh, God. Kai had not meant to do that. He did not want to kiss Sehun. It was a mistake. He regretted it.

Sehun could no longer fight the tears that were threatening to brew in his eyes. He kept his head so low that Kai would not be able to notice the tears that fell to the floor of his room.

Kai stomped to the windows and stood there for long, back turned to Sehun.

“I’ll… go,” Sehun whimpered weakly and hurried out of the room, understanding that Kai did not want to face him right now.

He blamed himself when he came home, sobbing into his pillow. It was his fault that this had happened. He never should have gone over to Kai’s.

* * *

Even though all that he wanted to do was be holed up in his room for all eternity, he forced himself to get out of bed the next morning and make his way to school.

He wondered if Kai would still be waiting for him like he always did by their lockers. And even thinking about the possibility of him not being there tightened Sehun’s chest with a rope of sorrow like no other.

When he woke up this morning, a part of him wished that everything that had happened last night was only a dream. But another part of him was crying in joy that Kai had kissed him. A mistake or not, they had kissed. There was no changing that fact. And that was what dreaded Sehun the most.

The turmoil in his heart calmed a little when he found Kai by their lockers. A smile almost crept up onto his lips before he spotted Katy, a classmate of theirs, with Kai.

They were laughing about something, and Kai did not look distressed in the slightest. But his laughter died at once when he saw Sehun in the hallway.

Every muscle in Sehun’s body told him to turn around and flee. But his heart urged him to go to Kai. It always did.

So, he approached Kai with blood drumming in his ears.

“Oh, hey, Sehun,” said Katy when he had walked up to them. Sehun said nothing to her as he lowered his head. Katy pursed her lips and turned to Kai again. “See you in Biology later then, Kai.”

Once she was gone, Kai blinked nervously, eyes not looking at Sehun anymore. Opening the locker, he averted his attention away from Sehun.

Sehun hugged the textbook to his chest and looked at Kai through his glasses. “Kai?” he called in hushed tones. Kai did not respond. Sehun’s heart was breaking. It was not fair. _Kai_ had kissed _him_. He did not deserve this punishment. “Kai.”

Kai slammed the locker shut and breathed heavily, eyes clenched.

Sehun eyes were getting misty. He inched a little bit closer. “I… will forget about it. Please,” he whispered. “Don’t… ignore me.”

He’d die.

Kai’s eyes opened and turned to Sehun then. He frowned. “I wasn’t… ignoring you, Sehun,” he said quietly. “I just… didn’t know… what to say. I need some time, okay? To… get over this. Can you just stay… away from me for a while? I swear, I’m not ignoring you, but I can’t do this right now. I have a game this weekend and I don’t want to get distracted by all this.”

Sehun understood, of course. But it was still not easy for him to accept it. He agreed, anyway. Because that was what he did. He was too afraid to argue otherwise. “Okay,” he muttered, even though all that he wanted to do right now was wrap his arms around Kai and never let go.

Kai turned on his heel and walked away, slinging his bag over on one shoulder.

* * *

Sehun stayed away from Kai like he was asked to the whole week. And it was killing him. It was a torture. A silent, terrible torture.

When Sehun said ‘hi’ to him in the hallway on Wednesday, Kai gave him a cold ‘hi’.

“Sehun?” His father gave the door a knock before he entered and found Sehun curled up in a ball on the bed. “I’m going out for the night and I think I will be home late. What are you doing at home? I thought you were going to the basketball game at school tonight.”

Sehun choked on the lump in his throat.

“Son?” His father sat on the bed and brought a hand to Sehun’s knee. “Everything okay? You… haven’t really been yourself the past couple of days. Is something wrong?”

Sehun finally broke down. His father and Kai were the only anchors of happiness he had. They were the ones he could talk to. The only ones who understood him.

“It’s not fair, Dad,” he mewled out.

“Sehun, what’s wrong?” his father asked, scowling.

Sehun snivelled and wiped his cheeks. “I did… nothing. Yet it feels like it’s all my fault and I’m the one to be blamed.”

“What happened? Has this… something to do with Kai?”

Sehun sat up straighter. “Kai wouldn’t want me at the game tonight.”

“Why not? You were just telling me earlier this week that you were considering going.”

Sehun dared himself to look into his father’s eyes. Then with a great deal of hesitance, he said, “I like him, Dad.”

His father waited for more, but there was no sign of resentment in his face so far.

“I like him,” Sehun breathed out. “And he… kissed me.”

“Oh.” The man scratched his stubbled jaw. “And?”

“And now… he doesn’t want to talk to me. It isn’t fair. I did nothing.”

Shaking his head, his father said, “I’m sorry, son. Do you… think he likes you?”

“I don’t know,” Sehun said truthfully. “I never thought that he could until… until he kissed me. But after that, he didn’t even want to look at me.”

Sighing heavily, his father stood up. “Did you ever ask him?”

Sehun looked at his dad forlornly. “I can never.”

“Maybe you should brave your heart for once and ask him, son. It would not be the end of the world, but it will give your mind some peace. It won’t kill you, trust me. And I will always be here to catch you if you fall. But you can’t… force someone to like you, and sometimes, you have to learn to be okay with that. It’ll suck, but it’ll make you stronger.”

He stroked Sehun’s head and leaned down to a brush kiss to his forehead before he wandered out of the room with a heavy frown.

After a few minutes, Sehun grabbed his hoodie and hurried out of the house. Jumping on his bike, he pedalled hard toward the school.

As soon as he reached the school, he tossed the bike aside and sprinted to the gym. The hallways were booming with cheers and the beat of the drums.

Bursting into the gym, he came to an abrupt halt when he encountered the massive crowd that was screaming and bellowing. He crept to a corner to stay out of sight, especially Kai’s, before his eyes frantically searched for Kai among the scampering basketball players in the court. They were winning, and only seconds remained on the clock.

The instant Sehun’s eyes found Kai, the crowd and everything else dissipated around him. Kai shone the brightest there because to him, it was not just a game. It was his passion, his dreams. And he played his heart out.

Scoring the final points for their team, Kai called the game off and the whistle was blown, announcing their team as the winning team.

Sehun smiled. For the first time in the week, he smiled. As people gathered around him to celebrate their victory, Kai howled in exhilaration when the trophy was handed to him. With a beaming grin, he turned to the crowd and his eyes quickly scanned it until they landed on his parents on the bleachers. He waved at them before his gaze walked up to Sehun in the back. All joy faded from his face, as though cold water was flung at it.

As Sehun started moving toward the exit, Kai frantically jostled past his teammates and leaped up the bleachers.

He had kept his promise, Sehun thought, finding his way out of the gym. He slowly dragged his feet down the hallway, reminding himself that he had braved himself tonight and it indeed had not killed him. He was happy. He had never seen Kai so happy.

“Sehun!”

He stopped and looked back at Kai, who was running towards him. “Kai?”

Completely out of breath, Kai halted before Sehun, grabbing his arms, pressing Sehun back against a wall. “You came,” he said, gasping for breath. He was also drenched in sweat from head to toe.

His fingers were digging into Sehun’s arms as he closed the distance between them. “I shouldn’t have,” Sehun muttered. “I’m sorry.”

“No, no.” Kai swallowed to wet his parched throat and replenished his oxygen supply before he said, “ _I’m_ sorry.”

Sehun shook his head. “You were right. It was a mistake. I can’t take this, Kai. Can we just… forget about everything and go back to the way we were? I don’t want us to… be like this. It… hurts.”

Kai’s hands loosened around Sehun’s arms, and his face paled a little. “You… want to… forget about everything?”

“Yes, _please_ ,” Sehun begged. “Please.”

Kai pulled back. “Okay,” he muttered. “I… I have to head back, but can we… talk later?”

Sehun gave a curt nod of his head. “I will wait for you back home.”

Kai licked his lips and stared at Sehun for a moment, a faint frown upon his eyebrows. Then he walked back to the gym.

* * *

Sehun waited for Kai on the porch steps as the evening oldened. He rose to his full height when he saw the car pull up in the Kims’ driveway. Exiting the car, Kai said something to his parents before he crossed the street and started ambling toward Sehun with his hands in the pockets of his jacket. He had taken a shower and was looking fresh again, albeit the obvious exhaustion that surrounded his heavy eyelids.

He stopped before Sehun and said, “Hey.”

He still looked exhilarated from the victory he had gotten their school tonight.

“You want to come inside?” asked Sehun.

Kai nodded. Sehun pushed the door open and led Kai to his room upstairs. Kai followed him into the room before closing the door behind him. They had something to talk about. Sehun just wasn’t sure what it exactly was. If only he could put this whole thing past them and pretend like it never happened.

“I was so proud of you,” Sehun decided to say, standing by the bed while Kai did not move away from the door. “I am always… awed by everything you do.” He smiled shyly. “You’re awesome, Kai. And you were awesome tonight. I should have been there at all of your games.”

“Why did you talk to me?” Kai blurted out, completely ignoring what Sehun had just told him. “Ten years ago, why did you… talk to _me_ when you wouldn’t talk to anyone else?”

Sehun was tongue-tied. He had no answer. He did not even remember when he had first spoken to the boy. But he supposed it was the same reason he was still talking to Kai right now. Because he felt safe with Kai.

“I don’t know,” he muttered. “I just… trusted you.”

The silent seconds stretched into a few minutes between them. Kai was glaring at him, as though his gaze were attempting to cut through Sehun’s soul. Then in a sudden move, Kai lunged away from the door and crossed the room until his hands were gripped around the sides of Sehun’s head.

The kiss scorched Sehun, seared into his flesh. Although his eyes reflexively shut themselves, he did not react otherwise as Kai kissed him hungrily, fingers tightening around Sehun’s hair.

Kai backed away briefly to yank Sehun’s glasses off and toss them to the bedside table. “I don’t want to forget the kiss or anything that happened that night,” he panted out. “I like you. I like you so much it hurts, Sehun.”

Sehun could only gawk at Kai in disbelief.

“I’m sorry if… this isn’t what you wanted,” Kai then said, eyes turning sad and red. “I’m really sorry.”

Sehun lifted his hands to Kai’s chest and fisted them around his hoodie. “I… like you, too,” he whispered. God, he would be completely okay if he even died this very instant. This was happening. It was really happening.

Kai seemed to be taken aback by the confession. “I like you… like that, Sehun. Like how… boyfriends like each other.”

That sounded like music to Sehun’s ears. “I know,” he said with whatever courage he had left. “I like you… like that, too.”

“Really?”

Sehun was embarrassed to bring his shaky hands to Kai’s face. He was even more hesitant to kiss the boy. But he did it anyway with his heart in his mouth.


	2. Chapter 2

“Red?” Kai asked, pointing to the container with the red jellybeans. The smaller boy gave a weak, shy nod. Scooping up some red jellybeans, Kai started to fill the bag. “Yellow?” He then pointed to the yellow ones. Sehun nodded again. Kai added some yellow jellybeans into the bag before turning to the green ones. “This one, too?”

The boy’s cheeks tinted into a shade of pink that flustered Kai deeply. Like the pink on his knees and knuckles. One time, when Sehun had removed his socks, Kai had peeped at his toes. They were all rosy, too. Not like Kai, whose sun-kissed skin was so tan from playing outside in the midday heat for years.

Sehun’s head bowed once more. He never spoke unnecessarily, even to Kai, in the one year they had known each other.

“Okay,” Kai said, jiggling the bag of jellybeans in front of Sehun’s face. Sehun giggled. “Let’s go.”

As they walked to the counter, Kai asked him if he wanted to get anything else. Sehun had simply shook his head. He had once told Kai that he was not allowed to have too much sugar, or he would get into trouble at the dentist. Kai told him that the dentist never scared him. Sehun looked at him then like he had seen a heroic warrior in Kai.

Sehun never ate the jellybeans he bought and after a while, it stopped seeming weird to Kai.

“Jellybeans again?” Patty said, grinning when they reached up the counter to hand her the bag to weigh it. Sehun pulled out some coins and pressed them into Kai’s hand like he always did instead of giving them to Patty. He avoided any direct interaction with other people as much as he could.

After paying for the candies, they made their way out of the store and set forth toward home. “Will you read for tomorrow’s Science class?” asked Kai while Sehun busied himself with looking into the bag of jellybeans.

Raising his head, he nodded it.

Kai sighed. “I want to play. I really don’t want to study when I go home.” Max and Louis said that they might drop by later to play with him, but he knew his mother would allow them to play if she knew he had homework to do.

He glanced down at Sehun’s skinny legs that were exposed by his shorts. They were as pale as the rest of him apart from his knees. Kai had realized a while ago that he reacted to those knees the same way he reacted to English Mastiff puppies. They were… cute.

Shaking his head, he looked away from them. “Do you want to come over and play today?”

Sehun looked at him with an eager smile. He was not good at the games Kai usually played, but it was only because he was always so nervous and worried about not playing the games right and hence, upsetting Kai. But Kai would never be upset with him for something so petty.

“Max, Louis and I are going to play some basketball today,” said Kai, and instantly, Sehun’s face wilted. Sehun did not like playing with anyone but Kai. He had tried to once and it had ended disastrously with him crying when Max called him a cheater. Sehun had not cheated, of course. But he had gotten so frustrated and sad when he could not offer any proof to refute Max.

“No,” Sehun whispered softly, disappointedly, lowering his attention to the jellybeans again.

Kai pursed his lips and tugged at the straps of his backpack. “It will be fun, Sehun,” he said. Sehun shook his head, refusing to look up at Kai. “Okay.” Kai exhaled defeatedly.

They came to a stop at the junction near their houses. Sehun was ready to take Kai’s hand. It had become a habit of theirs. It started earlier this year when they were waiting to cross the road during a heavy traffic. Sehun had been scared. So, Kai had taken his hand and held it tightly as they crossed the road. Sehun had never looked calmer and safer that he continued to hold Kai’s hand every time they would cross the road. Eventually, Kai decided to walk to and from school every day instead of biking there so that he would get to accompany the boy.

Kai wrapped a hand around Sehun’s and walked across the road, Sehun following him obediently. He only released the hand once they were safe on the other side of the street. It had become a duty of his to make sure that Sehun was safe, especially at school. He kept all of the bullies away from the quiet boy, cocking a fist whenever someone dared to pick on Sehun. Soon, Sehun started to believe that Kai really would punch people for him. Even if it were Gideon.

* * *

His parents decided to throw Kai a huge eleventh birthday party the next year. For once, he was excited to have so many people in his house because they all came bearing presents for him. Awesome presents. One of them even got him a crossbow, which he could not wait to try. Most of his classmates were there. Even Patty had come.

Everyone was there except Sehun.

Kai waited all evening for his friend to show up. Even as people started to leave, Sehun did not make an appearance. He had been telling Sehun all week about the birthday party. How could he not come, Kai brooded angrily as he bade his guests goodbye.

“See you at school,” said Max, waving at Kai.

“Bye,” Kai muttered grouchily.

Once everyone had left and his parents were cleaning up, Kai sat on the couch, hugging his arms around his body, scowling bitterly at the TV screen. If his parents allowed him to go out right now, he’d be marching over to Sehun’s house to give the boy a piece of his mind.

Sehun had not even wished him a happy birthday.

“Kai, go upstairs and get ready for bed,” his mother ordered.

Kai pushed himself up from the couch and stomped towards the staircase when the doorbell rang. Huffing furiously, he then pried the door open to look at who was visiting them at this hour. Maybe someone had forgotten something here.

He was surprised to see Sehun on the doorstep, looking sad. He was holding a wrapped box in his small hands.

“You just missed the party,” Kai snarled harshly. “I even had cake saved for you! But you didn’t show up!”

Sehun’s eyes watered. He started shaking out in the cold. “Sorry,” he said in an almost inaudible whisper. His apology sounded earnest. And he still looked so sad.

Kai glowered at him for a long moment before he said, “Where were you?”

Sehun held the box out. “I was… scared,” he breathed out. “I’m sorry.”

Kai froze. His heart broke a little when he heard that confession. Of course, he had not thought about the fact that Sehun would be anxious around so many people at a party.

“I’m so… small,” Sehun then said, wiping his eye on the back of his hand. “I did not think… I will be… important… There would be… so many people.”

Kai lunged forward then and pulled his friend into a tight hug. “You are important,” he said. The boy went so stiff that he had stopped shivering.

“Happy birthday,” Sehun whispered, hugging Kai back with his short, skinny arms.

* * *

Kai did not foresee how dangerous inviting Sehun over to watch a movie would be. As it would turn out, watching a movie with a boy he had recently admitted his feelings to was not as harmless as he thought it would be.

They had seen many movies together before, cooped up in either one of their bedrooms. And even though Kai had fantasized many times of running a hand down Sehun’s smooth, unblemished skin, kissing those plump petals of pink, he had never really entertained the idea of actually doing them.

Three nights ago, after the championship, they had made confessions that altered a lot of things in their friendship. Kai did not really know when he had first started to see his best friend in… _that_ way.

Perhaps it was when they were around fifteen when a boy could get excited by the wind. A whole new world had opened for Kai as he began to understand the pleasures a boy could receive from simply looking at someone they liked. And God, did he like Sehun…

He had always known, even from the first time he had seen Sehun, that there was something about the boy that drew him in. Be it the peculiarity that he adored in Sehun, the quietness in his voice, the shyness in his actions, his love for jellybeans, his kindness to animals and people alike, the need to be protected and kept safe by those that surrounded him, or maybe even those rosy, pink parts of his skin against a backdrop of milky ivory that drove Kai insane from time to time.

But as they grew up, Sehun blossomed into this beauty that made Kai choke every time he looked at him. His hair was no longer a messy nest. His limbs were not lanky and bony. His mouth was still deliciously small and even the thought of those lips made Kai’s head spin. He started thinking of _other_ parts of Sehun’s body that were as pink as his knees and knuckles.

He had spent countless nights jerking off to the red-hot thoughts of Sehun. It made it incredibly difficult to look at Sehun with a straight face the next morning. There was even a time when he had mistakenly glanced at Sehun in one of their classes and found Sehun biting on an end of his pen nervously, eyes narrowed past the glasses he sported. As soon as the class ended, Kai had hurried to the boys’ toilet, where he spent the next few minutes with his hand fisted around his erection.

Now, as Sehun sat on the bed at his side, gaze fixated on the TV screen in his room, Kai looked at the boy’s hand that was resting on the mattress between him. His mouth turned dry as he imagined himself kissing those slender fingers before sucking on them.

What an obscene image…

He averted his eyes back to the TV.

His heart was galloping uncontrollably. He clenched and released his hand before hesitantly bringing it to Sehun’s.

Sehun shuddered when Kai rested his hand over his, fingers slowly wrapping around it. He did not look away from the TV, but Kai noticed that his breathing was quickening. Sehun then lowered his head, turning his hand to interlace his fingers with Kai’s.

“Are you… sure, Kai?” Sehun asked quietly.

Kai blinked confusedly by the sudden question. “What do you mean?” he muttered. “Am I sure about… what?”

“This.” Sehun looked at him now. “Me.”

His expression suggested that he was sad. Kai did not know why. “Why?”

“I know I’m not… easy,” Sehun said.

Kai withdrew his hand from Sehun’s to cup it around Sehun’s cheek. “Have I not been here for you all these years?” he asked softly, caressing Sehun’s face.

Sehun leaned into his touch lovingly. “But that was… different.”

“No, it wasn’t. Not everything changes now, Sehun. If anything, I will… be here even more for you.” Kai licked his lips, taking in a small breath. “You said that you trusted me even back when we were so young. Won’t you… trust me now?”

Sehun nodded his head hurriedly, a hand pressing against Kai’s chest. “I trust you. I always… will,” he breathed out.

Kai smiled, gaze dropping to Sehun’s lips. His throat tightened while his chest clenched. “Can I… kiss you?”

Sehun looked so embarrassed that his face grew hot and red under Kai’s palm. “Yes?” he whispered.

Kai withdrew momentarily to take Sehun’s glasses off and set them aside before he gently held Sehun’s face in his hands again. When Sehun closed his eyes, Kai leaned in and brushed their lips together, experimentally at first to see if Sehun would respond.

Sehun kissed him back immediately but just as softly. Kai then pulled back, his lips aching for more. “Good?” he asked Sehun in a mutter.

Sehun bashfully bowed his head. Taking that as an encouragement, Kai chased for more kisses.

They kissed for minutes, savouring each other’s mouths, understanding what felt good for them and what did not. Kai was careful not to let his teeth scrape Sehun’s tender lips. But when he caught Sehun’s bottom lip between his teeth to suck on it, Sehun did not object. In fact, he whimpered a little, his hand tightening around Kai’s T-shirt by the chest. Sehun liked it, Kai took note. He also found out that Sehun shivered every time their tongues would touch. He liked that, too. Kai wanted to know more, so he broke the kiss and dragged his mouth down to Sehun’s neck.

Almost instantly, Sehun’s hand flew up to grip the back of Kai’s neck, fingers curling around his hair by the nape. His chest was heaving as Kai kissed his neck. Kai could not really tell if he liked it or not because Sehun was gritting his teeth while his fingers started pulling at Kai’s hair.

But then he heard a soft moan break from Sehun’s throat as he pressed a kiss to it. It was all that it took for Kai’s sweatpants to start tightening at the front.

“Won’t you touch me, too?” Kai breathed against Sehun’s neck as his hand travelled down a side of Sehun’s body until it found the soft corner of Sehun’s waist. When he gripped it, Sehun gasped. Kai drew him to lie down on the bed so that they could kiss more comfortably.

Sehun let his hands walk down Kai’s chest and abdomen, very, very hesitantly. He stopped with his hands on Kai’s abdomen, clearly unsure of what to do next. Kai seized one of his wrists and guided the hand further down below as he kissed Sehun’s lips tenderly.

Sehun stopped kissing him back for a moment as his hand palmed over Kai’s hardening erection over his sweatpants. “It’s okay,” Kai muttered against Sehun’s mouth. “I want you to touch me, Sehun.”

Kai was struggling to keep his own hand from moving down on Sehun. He wanted to know if Sehun felt anything right now.

“Me… too,” Sehun then rasped weakly, burying his face in Kai’s neck.

Kai had never heard Sehun ask for anything so outwardly. It shocked him. “Do you want me to?” Kai asked, just to be sure.

Sehun nodded, still hiding his face in Kai’s neck as his hand slowly started stroking Kai’s cock over the fabric of his pants. Kai’s hand immediately snaked around Sehun’s waist and slid low to cup his ass. Sehun gasped softly when Kai gripped him. While Sehun palmed Kai’s rapidly swelling member, Kai groped Sehun’s ass before he ran his hand along Sehun’s hip and cupped it over Sehun’s cock.

Kai was deliriously alarmed and excited when he realized Sehun was harder than he was. No wonder Sehun was starting to sound like he was going to cry and was in pain.

“Have you ever…” Kai inquired, pulling back a little so that he would be able to look at Sehun’s face.

Sehun’s eyes were glistening confusedly with tears. He shook his head.

Kai could not hide the smile that swam its way to his lips. He was overjoyed by the fact that he would be giving Sehun his first experience of sexual pleasure.

Kissing Sehun deeply then, he laid the boy down on the bed and knelt between Sehun’s legs. “Stop me whenever you want, okay?” Kai said. “Whenever you want, I’m serious. I won’t be upset.”

Sehun blinked his wide eyes. He had gone completely red. It would not take much to get him off in the state he was in right now.

He gave Sehun’s lips one more kiss before he planted a few more on his neck as he slithered down Sehun, pausing when he saw the milky-white belly that was exposed by the shirt that was slightly drawn up. Sehun was almost fighting for breath when Kai bowed his head to place a chaste kiss on Sehun’s narrow navel.

God, he was _fucking_ beautiful, Kai thought. But he knew they would have to take things slow. As much as he wanted to ravage Sehun right here and right now, he wanted Sehun’s first time to only be about things that felt good and safe.

Curling an arm around Sehun’s thigh, Kai kissed the bulge in his trousers. Sehun was staring at him with keen, curious eyes, his reddened lips parted and panting.

Kai planted a few more kisses over the trousers before he hooked his fingers around the waistband and started tugging it low enough to pull out the arching member.

Sehun froze entirely. But he was watching. He knew what was happening, Kai knew the boy was not completely clueless. But he supposed it was still a very new experience to the both of them.

Kai swallowed hard, looking at the stiff length that was resting against Sehun’s belly now. Its pink head made Kai’s mouth water. He brought one hand to his own erection in his pants and started pumping it as he wrapped the other around the base of Sehun’s cock.

“You’re so beautiful, Sehun,” Kai rasped. Sehun breathed even harder then. He propped himself up on an elbow and watched. Kai ran his tongue along the length before he latched his mouth around the cockhead.

Sehun fell back on the mattress at once as his hands flew up to grip Kai’s head. He cried out a moan when Kai’s tongue lapped around the cockhead, teasing his leaking slit.

“Shh,” Kai hissed, briefly drawing back. “My parents are downstairs.”

Sehun pressed the back of a hand to his mouth then, a tear rolling down a corner of his eye. He looked like a complete mess. And Kai loved it.

He sank in, taking all of the length into his mouth until the tip of it hit the back of his throat. He was careful not to do anything that he would not like to be done to himself. He also hoped that he was doing it right. It was not like he had any experience doing this before.

But he did not think that giving the person he loved pleasure generously could give himself such a pleasure. Sehun whimpered and gasped, his moans muffled by his hand that was covering his mouth while Kai sucked him hard.

It did not take Kai long to climax as he came all over his hand. Even then, he did not stop sucking. Sehun’s back arched off the bed a few times, involuntarily thrusting into Kai’s mouth. When he finally burst in Kai’s mouth, Kai did not hesitate to swallow. Pulling away, Kai licked the come that dripped down Sehun’s cock before he crawled back up to kiss the boy full on the mouth.

Sehun was gasping for air as he desperately clung onto Kai and kissed him back sloppily.

Breaking the kiss eventually, Kai smirked down at the embarrassed boy. “How was that?” he asked. “Did you… like it? Did it feel good?”

Sehun, breathlessly, said, “So… much.”

Kai smiled and bowed his head for another kiss.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and leaving kudos and comments! <3

**Author's Note:**

> The next chapter is where the "E" rating comes into play when Kai tries to get a little experimental and a little cozy with his new boyfriend while watching a movie.


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